Whitefest 2014
Alas, the annual Figgy Pudding Festival, highest holy day on the White Bourgeoisie calendar, went off on Friday without a hitch. Cops were everywhere, and there was not a single, solitary mohawk in...
View ArticleGone But Not Forgotten
Still loved after all these years, eh fellas? This sign has been taped to a pole in the 8th & Olive/Howell triangle for about 2 weeks now.
View ArticlePower From the People
How small must his heart be to steal power from Christmas lights? That’s right, homelice here was out of power for his phone/mp3 player, so he stopped to charge it from an outlet on the Christmas...
View ArticlePussy Destroyer?
Oh no, my friends. No, no. What you are looking at is not a Pussy Destroyer. What you currently have fixated within your gaze … Is a Pussy Obliterator. Once those fine-ass threads hit the floor, it’s...
View ArticleNordstrom’s New Clothes
Alright, they aren’t exactly “new”. Nordstrom’s new lights have been up for about a month, but I’ve been busy saving the world from poorly-written code (and doing a not-so-swell job of it in the...
View ArticleThe SPD vs. Seattle
It’s no great secret that Seattle is a city with a law enforcement problem. I’ve never seen a city whose residents hold such a universally negative opinion of their police force, and I’m including...
View ArticlePictures of the Day
Downtown Seattle Skyline Earth-killing Pollution Makes For Nice Sunsets Airplane with Eagle Harbor, Bainbridge Island, and the Olympic Mountains in the Background
View ArticlePike Street
From Pike Place Market to 15th Avenue, I’ve probably logged more hours on Pike Street in the last decade than any other street in the world. My entire family knows every crack, dip, and imperfection...
View ArticleNo Shit, Sherlock
Gentrification Creates Homelessness Graffiti Here in Seattle, we like to state problems. Repeatedly. In self-righteous, indignant ways. Solving those problems? We could not possibly care less about...
View ArticleSign, Sign, Everywhere a Fucken Sign
Twenty somethings with cardboard signs. We have an awful lot of them. Some of the signs are sad. Some of the signs are funny. Some of the signs are creative. All of the signs offer help and...
View ArticleYou’ve Been Hit By … You’ve Been Struck By …
Finding parking during rush hour in Downtown Seattle is a pain in the ass. It’s one of the many reasons I don’t drive. That and, you know, climate change, the thing car drivers are always wagging...
View ArticleAnother Dispatch from the Streets of MEattle
Who looks exactly the way that I look? Me! When I am reading, who’s holding the book? Me! When I want dinner, who always will feed me? Who’s always handy whenever I need me? Firm as a feather in all...
View ArticleRunning Red Lights Still Okay, Though
Typical Seattle Driver Don’t worry homocidal suburban drivers. The SPD still wuvs you. See, drugs are bad for you, but having a 5,000lb steel bullet roll over your head is full of 8 essential vitamins...
View ArticleTrouble at Doggy Daycare
What did you say to my bitch? What did you say to my bitch? I told her to lose the zero and get with a hero, what, you wearin’ your jumbo-sized Neuticals today? No, I left my jumbo-sized Neuticals at...
View ArticleConcrete Barriers Necessary: Only in Seattle
KinderCare with Barricades What you see above, is concrete barriers outside of a KinderCare in Midtown Seattle. A few months ago, an automobile failed to stop, and it plowed right through the plate...
View ArticleView from the Top of ‘Premiere on Pine’
Located directly across 8th from the Paramount Theater, ‘Premiere on Pine’ is a brand-spanking new residential tower in midtown Seattle. It is a tower that I personally watched being built, from the...
View ArticleMEattle. It Is What It Is.
A couple of years ago, I published a cartoon titled “Caleb Calls Home” that not everyone understood. If after this post you still don’t understand, then I have only one thing to say to you: Hi, Caleb....
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