Test Your Seattle IQ
Q. What do you call the painted lines at city intersections where pedestrians are designated to walk? A. Parking Spaces When a friend of mine moved here about 3 years ago, this was one of the first...
View ArticleThe Coolest Camera Ever!
This weekend, I thought I’d treat myself by purchasing the most technologically advanced camera ever made. One that just blows the doors off of anything else that’s even been made. The best feature on...
View ArticleEmperor Cited for Indecent Exposure at 4th & Pine
This afternoon, during rush hour, a hundred or so people blocked the intersection of 4th & Pine Streets to protest something I couldn’t completely figure out. I saw a few “black lives matter” (but...
View ArticleNouns, Motherfucker! We Got Nouns! And Prepositions Too, Biyiyatch!
Upper-Middle-Class Caucasians love their slogans. Boy oh boy do they love their slogans. Especially ones written on walls in random places. Much like pissy notes on car windshields, a phenomenon as...
View ArticleCollision at 6th & Stewart
Note that cars continue to run red lights even after the collision. I will ask for your forgiveness in advance for this post. I’m still very shaken up. I’m still very angry. I’m still very...
View ArticleDid You Hear the One About the Jet in Westlake Park?
No, really, there was a jet in Westlake Park today. As in jet airplane, not a “how did you know, cause I never told, you found out, I got a crush on you” Jet. Not that I would have been disappointed...
View ArticleThe Blue Angels From First Hill
It’s that time of year again. Since Friday morning, the Blue Angels have been intermittently screaming overhead for the annual Seafest climax, and since Friday morning, I’ve been watching them from...
View ArticleIrony
Allow us Americans to show the Chinese how this freedom thing is done. Take that you oppressive Chinese people! This sign was put up today at 6th & Stewart, on a public sidewalk, next to a public...
View ArticleThe Strange Life of a Seattle Pedestrian
Daily Occurrence What you see above is not an exception. It’s the rule. On most days, when walking to or from work during rush hours, the majority of intersections are blocked by...
View ArticleBricks are People Too
Seattle Gumwall – The Day Before We are on one hell of a roll I must say. Lest anyone doubt the veracity of my vision for Seattle, on Tuesday, we ameliorated one of the few true tourist attractions...
View ArticleFrench Solidarity
At least I think that’s the reason the tops of so many buildings in Seattle are lit up with the colors red, white, and blue. Then again, they’re, you know, the US colors too, so it could also...
View ArticleA Coward’s Christmas Carol
For the second year in a row, overwhelmingly affluent, overwhelmingly white, overwhelmingly ex-suburban, overwhelmingly gentrifying people are threatening to ruin the Westlake tree lighting...
View ArticleSo, How’d The Test Go?
Never mind, the wet sign lying in a puddle of dirty water tells us all we need to know about the results of this test. Not that we needed a test to tell us anything. Seattle is a town where dogs go to...
View ArticleA Funny Thing Happened on My Way Home from Work
I was walking home from work on Tuesday night when some guy sauntered up beside me and said “Pssst, you need tickets?” “No”, I replied, before looking up at the nearby Paramount Theater marquee to see...
View ArticleAnswering a Seattle Police Officer’s Question
“Why don’t you use the crosswalk!”, bellowed the Seattle Police Officer moonlighting as security for the Paramount Theater. My companion and I looked at each other with incredulity, before both...
View ArticleSequoia Sitta
Since about 11:00 today, a man has been sitting near the top of the Macy’s Giant Sequoia at 4th and Stewart/Olive. For the majority of the day, helicopters have been hovering overhead, and dozens of...
View ArticleSmashing Pumpkins at the Paramount Theater
The Smashing Pumpkins played the Paramount last Wednesday night. After opener Liz Phair did her thing, Corgan began the show with a string of mostly-acoustic-ish (solo acoustic through a fairly large...
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